Not Sewing

20171026_175008I have been Not Sewing, Like for months now.  I have been reading, lots and lots, and thinking.  Reading new cookbooks, health books, history books, farming books.  Sociology and education.  My Amazon order history is astounding and there’s still 215 items “saved for later.” I started to wonder if I was having a mid-life crisis, but those seem to be more superficial; revolving around stuff like missing your youth and buying expensive cars.  Which is nowhere on my radar.  Plus, my grandma just turned 98 and is in good health so I don’t really feel like I’m at mid-life yet.  a 2/5 life crisis?  Then one day the term came to me; it’s an existential crisis.  As in, I was really not satisfied with how a lot of things were going and I had to learn and figure out how to change all this.  How I eat and how I feed my family.  The sad realization that every food company, even those making “healthy” products, is looking to make a profit, not to make people healthy.  I’ve been not satisfied with how we manage our money and how we’re educating our kids.  Family relationships and how I spend my days, all reevaluated.  And then there’s the fact that we moved to rural Appalachian Pennsylvania and though we love so many things about living here, there are a few things about the community that make us feel like we’re swimming in the wrong pond.  But we keep moving and moving and never really find the right pond.  It’s time to “Be the Change,” I think.  Should be no problem, right?

But back to the sewing..

We’ve been slowly progressing through the renovation of what was meant to be my studio space, which meant that the small temporary sewing room is packed with all the weird stuff we had been storing in the studio space since we moved in.  So much stuff that it’s now more of a storage closet.  With no place to sew and supplies lost in a sea of boxes (and my mind caught up in my books), there was no sewing going on.

But (finally!) the studio is finished, pretty much.  Maybe a few more minor things will get done if our carpenter/distant relative has a chance this winter.  But I’ve started using it.  And even if the space is not quite at 100% (what ever is, really) it feels really really good to have a place to create (to think) and a place for my business again!  And I’m sure having the space set up will draw me out there to get to work.  And I’ll keep thinking.

Anyone else challenging the status quo in areas like nutrition, education, kid raising, finances?  I’d love to hear more.  Shoot me an email if you don’t want to comment here!

With Love,

Jessie

 

Why UFO?

I just noticed this neglected project (UnFinished Object, which is something totally different from a Work In Progress, isn’t it) shuffling around in the basement… It was going to be a little circular pouch, last summer I think.  The pieces are almost all together, the inside of the pouch is already cut out, I even made a test pouch out of a single fabric to test my pattern.  So why isn’t it done?  I honestly can’t even remember why this got shoved aside.

Finding this set off a few days of self-reflection on my sewing habits and methods.  (I didn’t let myself start to obsess about my general life-habits; I’m taking baby steps…)  For a while I couldn’t stop thinking about how I must look through the eyes of my mother.  Mom is a very linear person and finishes everything she starts and doesn’t have 37 projects in various stages of completion cluttering up her basement.  I don’t even think she plans her next project until the one at hand is completed.   My fluttering about must make her feel all twitchy until she has to look away and shake her head.

What it is about me that keeps me from seeing things through?  Is it the lure of something exciting and new?  Am I over-committed?  Maybe just self-indulgent and undisciplined? Ugg, I think it might be those last two there.  Time to be honest.  If I don’t wanna do it, most of the time, I just don’t.

While I was working on the Strawberry Shortcake Quilt just now, I didn’t work on that many other things.  Just one quilt from start to finish; it was easy because I gave myself deadlines and I wanted to keep plugging away at it so I could be done and move on to the next project.  I had the goal in mind; gifting the quilt while the baby was still tiny enough to use it, so I knew I couldn’t set it aside and start something else. It worked.  And it felt so good! So I’m working on more of that now.  Goals, deadlines.  And the sweet taste of success when something is actually finished and put to use.  Why did it take me this long to figure this out?  Here’s hoping I do turn into my mother after all…